Have any of you been here before…?
I talked with a friend a couple days ago about “comfort zones” with a couple different scenarios.
“Friends with benefits”- Good for now…but what about later?
We talked about the comfort that we set up having “friends with benefits”. He said in the beginning, everything is GREAT. You work for them and they work for you. You (or your partner) thinks after a while things will progress & you both can come to an agreement to actually make things official. What happens when the conversation comes up? Maybe the opposite person expresses that they don’t want to change that status for a number or reasons but they assure you that there’s no need to worry. Ya’ll continue on as normal but a couple months later or even a couple years later & things go haywire, and I mean so bad that you lose the benefits AND the friend. Now you’re no longer sure of them and you’re unsure of yourself. We discussed why we set ourselves up for this…
People go in with clear intentions, but develop unclear intentions: The two of you may have started out knowing this was all it was supposed to be. The problem with that is sex brings people together with a tremendous connection that we think we can control or suppress but peoples’ emotions end up getting the best of them.
People go along with false hopes: One partner goes in thinking “they don’t want to date me now, but I can change that.” BAD IDEA: It could work, but 9 times out of 10 it doesn’t.
People continue because of false promises: One partner expresses the desire to be something more; the other one does not & won’t tell them that. They’ll just drop little “bread-crumb promises” just to keep them tagging along. They put up fronts, act jealous or even indulge in other things to make their partner think that they are potentially special. Let’s face it-everybody has “potential” but everyone doesn’t make it.
People deliberately get you where they want you, “comfortable”, so that they can do as they choose: This is usually a manipulator that’s out for a bigger cause (ie: money, popularity, power)
Let me know what you think. Anything to add? Any Disagreements?
Look out for Part II - the next scenario of Comfort Zones