here's the other part... Let me know your thoughts...
Relationships – “You think you can stop for a nap just because you’re in first place?” - You’ve won their heart but the battle isn’t over….
When it comes to relationships, it is important not to become too comfortable, but it’s so easy to forget. Once we get have who we want we’ve got to work to keep them. We must be careful not to get comfortable once we become official. The things you used to do before you date need to continue & then some, and for a couple reasons:
1) It keeps both parties happy - Even when there are other struggles (financial, medical, etc) in the relationship we can better support one another in bad times when the relationship is in good standing.
2) It keeps the spark that we need to survive long-term commitments - It’s motivation for the relationship. We are naturally creatures of excitement & now-a-days people get bored easy. It’s like when you’ve been going to a club that “jumps off” every weekend & then after the 1st year the club starts losing its crowd because of bad promotion or reputation, advertising issues, or lack of appealing events. This is the same with a relationship. It doesn’t need to “jump off” everyday, but every now & then, catch your partner off guard, doing even the little things like packing their lunch, leaving a note on the care, or leaving a rose/ favorite sports magazine. We got to do something that provides assurance the relationship can stand strong.
3) Keep a foundation of trust - Your conscience can be a bitch. If one person or both get comfortable you begin to overlook things, or lose focus & it can set up bad business –
“Insecurity clicks on a light in your head, Jealousy takes out a loan in your name, and Temptation sets up shop in your loins. Thought you could hike up costs in Infidelity but you didn’t know that your investor was disguised & would catch you red handed. Now your business displays Embarrassment, Guilt, Shame, or just plain Loss.”
Do you want to risk the loss?
Showing posts with label comfort. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comfort. Show all posts
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Comfort Zones - Part I
Comfort Zones
Have any of you been here before…?
I talked with a friend a couple days ago about “comfort zones” with a couple different scenarios.
“Friends with benefits”- Good for now…but what about later?
We talked about the comfort that we set up having “friends with benefits”. He said in the beginning, everything is GREAT. You work for them and they work for you. You (or your partner) thinks after a while things will progress & you both can come to an agreement to actually make things official. What happens when the conversation comes up? Maybe the opposite person expresses that they don’t want to change that status for a number or reasons but they assure you that there’s no need to worry. Ya’ll continue on as normal but a couple months later or even a couple years later & things go haywire, and I mean so bad that you lose the benefits AND the friend. Now you’re no longer sure of them and you’re unsure of yourself. We discussed why we set ourselves up for this…
People go in with clear intentions, but develop unclear intentions: The two of you may have started out knowing this was all it was supposed to be. The problem with that is sex brings people together with a tremendous connection that we think we can control or suppress but peoples’ emotions end up getting the best of them.
People go along with false hopes: One partner goes in thinking “they don’t want to date me now, but I can change that.” BAD IDEA: It could work, but 9 times out of 10 it doesn’t.
People continue because of false promises: One partner expresses the desire to be something more; the other one does not & won’t tell them that. They’ll just drop little “bread-crumb promises” just to keep them tagging along. They put up fronts, act jealous or even indulge in other things to make their partner think that they are potentially special. Let’s face it-everybody has “potential” but everyone doesn’t make it.
People deliberately get you where they want you, “comfortable”, so that they can do as they choose: This is usually a manipulator that’s out for a bigger cause (ie: money, popularity, power)
Let me know what you think. Anything to add? Any Disagreements?
Look out for Part II - the next scenario of Comfort Zones
Have any of you been here before…?
I talked with a friend a couple days ago about “comfort zones” with a couple different scenarios.
“Friends with benefits”- Good for now…but what about later?
We talked about the comfort that we set up having “friends with benefits”. He said in the beginning, everything is GREAT. You work for them and they work for you. You (or your partner) thinks after a while things will progress & you both can come to an agreement to actually make things official. What happens when the conversation comes up? Maybe the opposite person expresses that they don’t want to change that status for a number or reasons but they assure you that there’s no need to worry. Ya’ll continue on as normal but a couple months later or even a couple years later & things go haywire, and I mean so bad that you lose the benefits AND the friend. Now you’re no longer sure of them and you’re unsure of yourself. We discussed why we set ourselves up for this…
People go in with clear intentions, but develop unclear intentions: The two of you may have started out knowing this was all it was supposed to be. The problem with that is sex brings people together with a tremendous connection that we think we can control or suppress but peoples’ emotions end up getting the best of them.
People go along with false hopes: One partner goes in thinking “they don’t want to date me now, but I can change that.” BAD IDEA: It could work, but 9 times out of 10 it doesn’t.
People continue because of false promises: One partner expresses the desire to be something more; the other one does not & won’t tell them that. They’ll just drop little “bread-crumb promises” just to keep them tagging along. They put up fronts, act jealous or even indulge in other things to make their partner think that they are potentially special. Let’s face it-everybody has “potential” but everyone doesn’t make it.
People deliberately get you where they want you, “comfortable”, so that they can do as they choose: This is usually a manipulator that’s out for a bigger cause (ie: money, popularity, power)
Let me know what you think. Anything to add? Any Disagreements?
Look out for Part II - the next scenario of Comfort Zones
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