From the Steve Harvey book and his time on the Oprah show.

**This was shared to me by my friend/prev co-worker Sheena- Thanks sweetie!**


To my Ladies out there read and pass this on to other women who did not get a chance to see Oprah on 2/27/09. Excerpts from the promotion of Steve Harvey's book 'Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man', Oprah's 2/27/9 show, where he was a 15-minute guest. He said the book is the only thing he initially did for free, as a gift to women. He did not expect in his wildest dreams that it would make the 'best-seller' list:

"Every man has a plan. A man does not lock eyes with you from across the room or approach you just to talk, he has a plan. He saw something he wants. This attempt at conversation is to find out how much it will cost him. It is not only about money, but other things like how much time must be invested, what does she want from me, what are her standards. Because men will rise to the occasion, no matter how high the bar is set, it's just that women keep lowering the bar, lowering their standards. Women are complicated, they keep talking to each other, but men are very simple. Men need only three things:support, loyalty and the cookie."

Steve says if a man introduces you as his friend or just says your name, with no title - you have nothing. Men are very protective, they mark their territory.If a man loves you, he's willing to profess it. After a while, he'll give you a title - his woman, his lady, his fiance, his baby mama, some title. If after three months he is still introducing you by your name only, you have nothing. The man who truly has feelings for you will give you a title. This is his way of letting everyone within the sound of his voice know he is proud of being with you and he has plans for you.

Every man has a plan. Steve tells of one the times his father-in-law was visiting, and interrogated the boyfriend of one of his twins. They had dated four or five times and he asks the boy what are his plans for his granddaughter. After stumbling and stuttering, he finally mumbles out that they are just "kicking it". So Steve says, that's cool. Let's just bring my daughter in now and inform her that she is just being "kicked" - that you two are just "kicking it" and let's see if that's what she just wants to do. They broke up the next day.

Steve says men are fishermen, either for sport or for food. Women must determine which kind of fish they want to be. If you don't want to be continuously hooked and thrown back, just for sport, you must present your standards, you must stop lowering them, you must present your requirements.Then if you are hooked, the man knows you are about business. In other words, when you're hooked, he must know that you are eventually going home with him, not back into the water. It is the woman that is in control - of everything. The man cannot hold your hand unless you let him, he cannot kiss you unless you let him and he certainly cannot make love to you unless you let him. Now, with all that power, why do you suddenly relinquish it, just because you want a guy to accept you? Keep your standards where they are! Say to him, if you want to be with me, this is what it takes. He can hook you,but he should not be able to reel you in without meeting your standards.

A woman called in via satellite with a question for Steve: "When should a woman have sex the first time in a new relationship?" Steve cites, as an example, when he once worked on the assembly line at Ford Motor Co. There was a probation period for new employees. Like a lot of large companies, only after 90 days do you qualify for a benefit package - before allowed to get dental, medical, & eyes checked. Within those days I was being checked out - whether I was easy to get along with, to work with, whether I was reliable, showing up on time, if I was worthy. Then, and only then, do you get the benefits. Why do women, who possess the greatest benefits package of all, pass it out so quickly to unworthy guys? Slow down ladies, you cannot run us off, if we want you! And know that men are aware of the fact that you change the rules - when you are desperate, when you think there is a shortage of good men out there. And we play on it. We created terms like 'gold digger' so you don't ask for money; the term 'nagging', so that you don't badger us. We created these terms so that you will require less of us. God has given all women this incredible gift called intuition. Get in a guy's face, look in his eyes, use that intuition! 'Old School' is not dead, chivalry is not dead, it is just not being required anymore.

Haters

Maya Angelou is one of God's most greatest gifts to the world. She has so many inspiring poems & books. I love this piece because it's true on so many levels. Enjoy


“HATERS” BY MAYA ANGELOU

A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall. They are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is ever good enough! When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters... That's why you have to be careful with whom you share your blessings and your dreams, because some folk can't handle seeing you blessed... It's dangerous to be like somebody else... If God wanted you to be like somebody else, He would have given you what He gave him or her, right?

You never know what people have gone through to get what they have...The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they don't know my story... If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too! We've all got some haters among us! Some people envy you because you can:

1. Have a relationship with God
2. Light up a room when you walk in
3. Start your own business
4. Tell a man / woman to hit the curb (if he / she isn't about the right thing)
5. Raise your children without both parents being in the home

Haters can't stand to see you happy. Haters will never want to see you succeed. Haters never want you to get the victory. Most of our haters are people who are supposed to be on our side. How do you handle your undercover haters? You can handle these haters by:

1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are *VERY IMPORTANT!!

2. Having a purpose to your life. Purpose does not mean having a job. You can have a job and still be unfulfilled. A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be. Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.

3. By remembering what you have is by divine privilege and not human manipulation. Fulfill your dreams! You only have one life to live...when it’s your time to leave this earth, you want to be able to say, “I've lived my life and fulfilled my dreams... Now I'm ready to go HOME!“

When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters,
“Don't look at me...Look at who is in charge of ME” Pass this to all of your family & friends who you know are not hating on you including the person who sent it to you. If you called somebody out! Don't worry about it, it's not your problem, it's theirs. Just pray for them, that their life can be as fulfilled as yours! Watch out for Haters... BUT most importantly, don't become a HATER!

“A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.” MAYA ANGELOU

Tru Colorz

To all those who don't recognize REAL in your life... U BETTER WAKE UP!

Sometimes we think we really know our friends,
Let something go wrong- In 5 seconds you can be left stuck wondering
how you didn't see tru colorz that had been there the WHOLE time.
I grew up, but let them tell it & I grew "apart" & I "changed".
We go thru so much crap with them, make it thru,
& just when we hoped we've made a difference or think we've stepped up to a new level
They shit on us harder than our own enemies.

So in case some of you don't know what a REAL friend is, let me be the one to clarify:

Real friends sacrifice for you, even when they know YOU are wrong.
Real friends don't make you chose. They support YOUR choice, No matter if they agree or not.
Real friends defend you, even when others speak negative of you.
Real friends defend you, even when others say YOU speak negative of ME!
Real friends have your back & build you up when you are down.
Real friends give you their last dollar or the shirt off their back & DON'T WANT IT BACK!
Real friends hear you crying or down & leave work or stop what they're doing to make sure YOU are ok.

But real friends DON'T DO:
They DON'T throw a kiddie tantrum when they're mad or can't have their way.
They DON'T turn others against you when our issue don't involve anyone else.
They DON'T dog you to other people.
They DON'T dog you to other people, even when they KNOW that YOU were bad-mouthing them.
They DON'T sabotage other friendships/relationships for their own selfish reasons.
They DON'T compete against you (who's the cutest, best dressed, best hair, newest car, etc).
They DON'T shit on you for doing something positive, being happy, or being successful.
They DON'T try to control, manipulate & scheme on you for their own selfish reasons.
They DON'T shit on you for improving your situation and life.
...And They DON'T get mad if they know they haven't done ANYTHING wrong.


I'm ok folks...It just hurts REAL BAD, but with time I will be just fine. God's on my side.
I DEEPLY apologize to any of my friends (even those I couldn't tag) that got neglected or hurt along the way. That's why I've been trying to make contact and/or keep in touch. I know I won't be living here too much longer & I want to leave with great memories of ya'll. For a while I lost sight & lost a bit of myself... I was definitely beside myself & I can admit that.

My eyesight was a bit blurry but thank GOD those Tru Colorz always shine thru!
I realize my worth wasn't for THEM to determine anyway...
That's why I stand for ME now & let THEM line up!
I like to call myself one of the few "last REAL women standing".

See, what they don't know is that they can take EVERYTHING I'VE GOT & I can STILL walk away happy because I did what I was supposed to do for my half of the friendship..Shit, I did some of their half!
It is THEM that will have to live with THEMSELVES & the fact that they lost one of the realest chicks they'll probably EVER KNOW... LOVE YA'LL <3 <3

State Of Confusion

I've been away for a while, experiencing life & suffering from writer's block just a bit but I hope you like. There will be another one right behind it.



State Of Confusion



My mind is racing with thoughts.

Feel like I’m panicking within.

Uncertain about my life & the purpose I serve.

One day I’m fighting my sins.

The next day I battle to be thin.

At the end of the week I love life?

By the last day of the month I wish it would end.

Frustrated with happiness & excited with anger.

The type of thoughts I’m having could put me in danger.

Feeling like I’m stuck in solitary confinement at times.

Serving a mental jail sentence to an ongoing crime.

Decisions to move forward seem to haunt me with fear.

Is it new success or more failure I‘ll encounter this year?

I could go back & forth all day, all night.

Battling with my conscience on wrong & right.

But I’m getting really sick of the constant fight.

When does this tunnel end?

When will I see the light?

Trying not to worry over worldly troubles.

But it consumes me like a wildfire of iniquity.

Thankfully the flames can be extinguished.

But then the flow of water can’t be turned off.

So now I’m drowning in my own thoughts.

I can’t necessarily be saved.

Because my brain is constantly riding a psychological wave.

I know eventually a life raft will be thrown out to save me from myself.

Did any of this even make sense?

Man, I think I really need help!